Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Sleep training - Mummy's guilt

Baby J has always been pretty good at bedtime, since he was tiny he had sleepy cuddles then got put down in his cot when he was drowsy and slept. When I went back to work, I craved his sleepy cuddles and after his evening bottle shared sleepy cuddles and allowed him to drift off in my arms; for me blissful, it gave me the time with baby that I missed during the day, & I loved it. Recently I've noticed that it's been taking baby longer to drift off to sleep in my arms, and if he wasn't properly asleep when we put him down in his cot, he'd scream and point at me to pick him back up. It was time for me to admit that I needed to put Baby J into a better sleep time routine, otherwise it was going to get harder and harder for both of us.

I already knew what I was going to have to do, and the thought of letting baby cry it out terrified me. The odd occasion where we'd attempted it I'd given in quickly and gone running into his bedroom after hearing him scream to scoop him up in my arms, and apologise over and over.........vowing to never to try it again.

So Saturday night after a good day I built up the courage to do it, and after his bottle, took him up for a story and placed him in his cot. I rubbed his tummy and told him mummy and daddy loved him, gave him a kiss and walked away, the tears started and the pointing at mummy. I remained calm and kept walking out the door. Hearing him sob on the monitor made me feel so bad, but I kept busy in the kitchen and before I realised it, the sobs had stopped. I went and peeped in on him expecting to see him standing in his cot ready to start pointing and crying, but he was asleep.

I dreaded Sunday night, thinking I was going to have a night of sobs, but I followed the same routine, this time I heard him roll over ready to stand in his cot, but kept on walking. The sobs started, I kept on going, before I reached the bottom of the stairs his cries had stopped. Again I peeped in 10 minutes later and he was laid on his tummy, I flipped him over and he stayed sleeping.

I was also dreading tonight, and with him being super hyper at bedtime thought I was in for a battle, but no I stuck to the routine and only had a few tears as I walked away. I heard him playing with his toys but he soon drifted off and when I peeped in on him he was sound asleep.

I feel terribly guilty that it was my fault that he'd got used to sleeping in my arms, and although I miss it like mad I'm making the most of awake cuddles instead.

I'm hoping that the rest of the week go well, and by Saturday he's happy to settle himself - fingers crossed.

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